Today’s the day the kids went back to school, and the first time in just over two weeks that my husband and I had any time together. I dunno about you, but our Christmas break has been pretty hectic. Chillout was the plan, chaos was the reality. I’ve got a feeling you’ll understand what I’m talking about!!
So we dropped the kiddos off, and headed into town for an almond milk latte and a gluten free caramel slice (me) and a hot chocolate with lashings of whipped cream (him). We’ve opted for dry January, and the next thing on my mission is to balance my blood sugar, but for now… I’m digging in.
As we picked our table at the back, half hidden from view, it was one table that made more noise than everyone else in there. We couldn’t help but overhear their conversation. It was one of those where they could probably hear it three shops away. Sitting down was one of those moments met with a sigh of “at last!” followed by annoyance that we couldn’t even hear ourselves think.
So when these three started to get louder and louder, I began eavesdropping.
They were talking about the phytoestrogens in soy milk and how people are “morons” for believing that they were in any way bad for your health. The guy started condemning all the “idiots” who laughed and jeered at him, calling him Soy Boy, and then the loud discussion got louder as they continued to laugh at the people with different health outlooks to them.
In one breath, they criticised those who judged (fair enough). In the next, they were making sweeping statements judging entire populations!
According to this threesome, people who don’t vaccinate are the American middle classes with children called Petunia and Petulia. They’re so contrived in their righteousness that little Petunia actually deserves to get ill and die. At this point, one of them stopped and took a breath before saying that she shouldn’t die, but should get poorly enough to wake her parents up.
We drank up and left.
It was an eye opening experience for me, and as I strive to learn from all these things that give me an uneasy feeling in my tummy, I sat and pondered it this afternoon:
- Why would someone who’d been ridiculed for his health beliefs then do the same to someone else?
- How were they so convinced that they’re right, that it was acceptable to laugh about a hypothetical stereotyped child dying?
- What makes people so utterly sure that they have all the answers?
I believe that the only person who knows what’s right for you is you.
Each of us has our own journey to take. We have stumbling blocks to come across and mountains to climb. We may have kids who are challenged, and we may be searching for answers anywhere and everywhere.
We each react differently to different stresses and stimulus. In Soy Boy’s case, he may react badly to cow’s milk or he may be against the ethics of a perpetually lactating cow. He may not have looked deeply into the research linking phytoestrogens to man boobs, he might have debunked it or he might just not care.
Who am I to judge?!
Research comes out left, right and centre about medicines, hormones, diets, vaccines, exercise. You name it, you’ll find ten different experts saying totally different things. You then have to consider who sponsored the research? Were any of the studies thrown out before completion because they showed the “wrong” results for the company? Have conflicts of interest been declared?
You could begin to believe your arse really is your elbow if you spend long enough delving into some of this stuff.
I propose a simpler way – do what you think is right – for you and your family.
Ask better questions. Don’t judge others, but if you find yourself judging, take note. Ask yourself “what is it that’s triggering this judgement?” and go deep into that.
Soy Boy actually triggered me because he challenged some of my beliefs. He made me realise that I often judge people without necessarily realising it, and that doesn’t do me any favours either.
I’ll look at someone who says chiropractic is expensive, while they’re texting on their £1000 iPhone, wearing a £100 pair of trainers and have an arm covered in tattoos! Can you guess what I’m thinking? You can afford it, if you choose to, but you don’t prioritise your health.
Does that serve either of us? No.
So leave the judgement behind, and focus on what matters to you. I’m constantly striving for it, and it’s a lifelong process in my mind, as we undo what we were taught as children.
Is it worth it? Also-bloody-lutely!
Happy 2018 my lovelies. Make it a great one. xx